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Here's how veterans say they want to be honored for their service

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veterans day parade

The INSIDER Summary:

• Today is Veterans Day, when Americans honor men and women who served in the military.
• INSIDER spoke with two vets on how they prefer to be honored by civilians. 
• The secret: Treat veterans as whole people, not just former soliders. 



There are lots of worthwhile ways to support America's veterans today: You could attend a parade, show your support on social media, or donate to organizations that support them

But one of the most meaningful things you can do — at least according to veterans Stacy Bare and Courtney Wilson — is to get to know veterans beyond their military service.

Bare, who served in the Army in Iraq, is the director of Sierra Club Outdoors, where he organizes community-building wilderness expeditions for veterans. Wilson, who served in the Army in Afghanistan, just launched an online database called DropZone, which helps vets navigate the myriad benefits and services available to them. And both stressed the importance of civilians making deeper connections with those who were in the armed forces.

Stacy bare sierra club outdoors

"Being a veteran or a pro athlete are the only two careers in the world where people are more interested in who you used to be," Bare told INSIDER. "People want to talk about the past, which is cool, but rarely would somebody say, 'Hey man, tell me about what's going on now, what's got you excited, what you want to do next.' Being a veteran is part of who you are, but you can be more than that."

It's true. Many veterans go on to become students, start businesses, get involved in politics, run nonprofits, express themselves through art — and a whole bunch more. Getting to know what they're up to after their life in the military is crucial. 

Also important: Don't feel weird about getting to know someone who's served even if you haven't. 

courtney wilson

"I think the best way to support veterans is to go up and introduce yourself and get to know them beyond just the 'veteran,'" Wilson told INSIDER. "People put veterans up on a pedestal, and we don't want that. It creates this divide where [civilians] feel bad that they didn't serve, and they're like, 'Oh, I could never understand what you've gone through.' But you've gone through things that I can never understand. That doesn't mean that either one of us is lesser."

The bottom line: Don't ignore the past — it's obviously important — but don't hestitate to ask about veterans' lives as they are today. In fact, it's during the transition back to civilian life where many vets struggle the hardest. 

And, of course: Don't wait to take action only once a year on November 11.

"Support them the next day and the day after that," Wilson said. 

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