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13 signs your friendship with someone is toxic

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Toxic relationships don't just apply to romantic partnerships. Sometimes, friendships with people can turn out just as abusive and damaging.

Rather than bringing company and comfort to your life, a toxic friendship will bring exhaustion and frustration, says psychologist and therapist Perpetua Neo.

Read more:9 signs it's time to end a friendship, according to therapists

There are quite a few signs you can look out for to tell you whether or not a friendship isn't healthy, Neo told Business Insider.

Some of the red flags are obvious, but some can be more subtle. Here are 13 of the most common signs to look out for in a toxic friendship.

SEE ALSO: 9 signs it's time to end a friendship, according to therapists

1. There's a whole lot of drama

One thing you can guarantee from a toxic person is drama. Chaos seems to surround them somehow, either because they're always arguing with someone and causing problems, or because unbelievable things keep happening to them.

"Drama is a very big thing when we talk about toxic friends," Neo said. "A toxic friend tends to be someone who sucks us in either by being very amazing, very grandiose, or by being this sad creature that needs our help."

Whatever their story, you can guarantee you'll hear about it, or worse, get dragged into it.



2. Everything is about them

A toxic friend will never really listen to you. They will always be waiting for their turn to speak, or to turn the conversation back to them.

"In a novel conversation between people, you can say this thing happened to me too, which is OK because that's where empathy happens, and you form a connection," Neo said. "But then with a toxic person, everything revolves around them. They'll twist it."

A good way to test for this is by bringing up random topics that have nothing to do with either of you. A toxic person will have the uncanny ability to manipulate the conversation back around to them again, whatever the topic, without skipping a beat.



3. They constantly put you down

Neo said a toxic friend will never compliment you. They'll never pick you up or congratulate you on your achievements. In fact, they're much more likely to kick you when you're down.

You'll realise you're never actually happy or relaxed around them because they don't make you feel good about yourself, Neo said. No friendship should be transactional, but if someone is draining all your energy, you should ask yourself whether you're getting anything out of it at all.



See the rest of the story at Business Insider

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